[ it's nothing he's ever heard of. something from a different world or a different time, and while it occurs to him once more that she could be jesting, he continues to offer his tentative belief. because it's possible, certainly. because in this place, almost anything can hold actuality.
and what is a time lord, precisely. what constitutes the difference between a time lord and a human. what is it, precisely, that she'd lost? ]
We all lost something, coming here.
[ not necessarily a part of the self or a handful of abilities. for some, that something consisted of a lost home, lost family, lost whatever it is that people miss. daud isn't eager to specify his own losses; it's easier to talk in general terms. ]
( she knows, daud. she knows how dumb it sounds, how pretentious but it's what she is. and there's a difference -- she isn't gallifreyan, not like anyone else that would be a time lord. she's human -- human plus something else. it-- she's an anomaly )
Especially not with what they're asking us to do.
( they wanted them to fight, these chosen, to succeed where they couldn't in the war. but they'd then changed them, taken away advantages that could have helped us )
Some of what we lost could have made this easier for them.
[ he knows a thing or two about being an anomaly. not in the same way, of course, but all of the outsider's chosen became strange as soon as they're marked, become other-than-human, greater-than-human. there are still moments daud clenches his fist, expecting time to come to a halt. still times he forgets how much longer it takes his body to heal, how much more easily he gains damage. ]
I expect they enjoy watching us stumble.
[ expects the gods don't much care what was lost, that these gods aren't the most strategic of planners.
still. he's not going to be wholly sidetracked by this talk of gods. ]
( after working out how to explain this to magnus the words come a little quicker, though if daud is paying particular attention he might notice oddities in her story, things that don't entirely sound right even without understanding the context )
A species known as Gallifreyans. Not all became Time Lords but that was their origin.
[ none of this means much right now, but he notes the information and files it away. notes the new-grown questions that rise, as well. whatever she was is complicated, almost certainly. gallifreyans. evolution. all right. ]
( this was the part that she got a little more secretive on. it wouldn't matter so much here, whatever her strengths and weaknesses had been was less important because they couldn't be used or exploited. but talking about what she could do, what time lords were capable of-- she hadn't before )
[ ...uh-huh. what he hears is a space of unspoken somethings, hesitations, pieces of herself kept quiet. which is what he might have expected. which is what he's absolutely come to expect of this woman, evasive as she's been. ]
And you miss these biological characteristics.
[ is that a heavy strain of doubt in his voice? it might be. but he won't push too far. ]
( for a lot of it it isn't a noticeable every day thing but there are times when it could come in useful. other parts are just plain strange feelings, things that don't feel right because this body isn't quite right )
And being human is... I don't know how they do it.
[ he could make another smart remark - 'yes, who knows how WE do it' - only something in her words, the way she speaks them, the way they seem to twine from somewhere in her core stops him. she's being honest, intentionally or not, or else she's skilled at playing honest (which he wouldn't doubt; which he could absolutely envision her doing).
'i miss my body being familiar.' it's a strange statement. not entirely unfamiliar, and not remotely comfortable.
he'd like a cigarette right now. he'd like that very much. ]
( it's either deal with it or keep complaining and whilst river is dealing with it she expects that she'll also keep complaining. fuck these gods, though they likely weren't gods but some alien race. she's heard of that before )
[ he can't say he completely understands what river's told him. can't fit this idea of a time lord into what he knows about the world. he also doesn't intend to try to fit it in; as far as daud's concerned, the better route is to leave space for the idea, let it take whatever shape it can as he gleans more information. ]
( he'd already gotten something out of her and whilst it may not have meant anything she hadn't known that. it had meant something to her which meant she'd had to do something about it )
[ it doesn't take much to connect her words back to the half-revelation of the other night. if she wants to keep a handle on the truth, so much the better for him; his picture of this woman's just a little clearer now. ]
You might want to do less talking when you've been drinking.
[ he has a definite recollection of river saying as much. he also remembers how easily she'd started talking, and how easy it was to coax her to continue. ]
I thought little information was the least you owed me.
[ he might have gone a little too far with that. ]
For all of the needling you've done.
[ though his expression remains unwavered, there's something slightly relenting in his voice, almost, almost a little abashed. it's easy to slip back into old habits with this woman. easy to let himself forget the damage he's capable of.
he can't blame her for it. or he shouldn't.
by the fucking void. now he's staring at her, and now he does look uncertain, rubs a hand over his jaw. ]
[ he can't even meet her irritation. dwelling on what he'd said, what he'd demanded of her, he can't even bring himself to feel a prickle of anger or snap back. ]
I don't—
[ what he means to say it that he isn't so hopelessly obnoxious with his demands. that he wasn't the one to challenge her knowledge, her fighting prowess. but of course he hadn't been silent. he'd posed plenty of questions beyond what she wanted to hear.
he glances toward the nearest building, the sky, the ground. ]
( considering how both his words and actions had happened. she would also absolutely fight him on her own challenge -- she hadn't done it to belittle but to improve, particularly when he was harming himself with his lack of care.
but that's a separate matter and daud's reluctant confession does little to quell her anger at him )
Maybe you should figure that out before trying to figure anyone else out.
( and she's turning around, leaving him there. no matter what he says she can't be stopped )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ it's nothing he's ever heard of. something from a different world or a different time, and while it occurs to him once more that she could be jesting, he continues to offer his tentative belief. because it's possible, certainly. because in this place, almost anything can hold actuality.
and what is a time lord, precisely. what constitutes the difference between a time lord and a human. what is it, precisely, that she'd lost? ]
We all lost something, coming here.
[ not necessarily a part of the self or a handful of abilities. for some, that something consisted of a lost home, lost family, lost whatever it is that people miss. daud isn't eager to specify his own losses; it's easier to talk in general terms. ]
These gods haven't made our lives any easier.
no subject
Especially not with what they're asking us to do.
( they wanted them to fight, these chosen, to succeed where they couldn't in the war. but they'd then changed them, taken away advantages that could have helped us )
Some of what we lost could have made this easier for them.
no subject
I expect they enjoy watching us stumble.
[ expects the gods don't much care what was lost, that these gods aren't the most strategic of planners.
still. he's not going to be wholly sidetracked by this talk of gods. ]
What is a Time Lord.
If you don't mind.
no subject
( after working out how to explain this to magnus the words come a little quicker, though if daud is paying particular attention he might notice oddities in her story, things that don't entirely sound right even without understanding the context )
A species known as Gallifreyans. Not all became Time Lords but that was their origin.
no subject
[ none of this means much right now, but he notes the information and files it away. notes the new-grown questions that rise, as well. whatever she was is complicated, almost certainly. gallifreyans. evolution. all right. ]
And you had, what, abilities? Strengths.
no subject
( this was the part that she got a little more secretive on. it wouldn't matter so much here, whatever her strengths and weaknesses had been was less important because they couldn't be used or exploited. but talking about what she could do, what time lords were capable of-- she hadn't before )
Physical characteristics -- biological.
( all internal )
no subject
And you miss these biological characteristics.
[ is that a heavy strain of doubt in his voice? it might be. but he won't push too far. ]
no subject
( for a lot of it it isn't a noticeable every day thing but there are times when it could come in useful. other parts are just plain strange feelings, things that don't feel right because this body isn't quite right )
And being human is... I don't know how they do it.
no subject
'i miss my body being familiar.' it's a strange statement. not entirely unfamiliar, and not remotely comfortable.
he'd like a cigarette right now. he'd like that very much. ]
I expect you'll work it out.
no subject
( it's either deal with it or keep complaining and whilst river is dealing with it she expects that she'll also keep complaining. fuck these gods, though they likely weren't gods but some alien race. she's heard of that before )
No one does.
no subject
[ he can't say he completely understands what river's told him. can't fit this idea of a time lord into what he knows about the world. he also doesn't intend to try to fit it in; as far as daud's concerned, the better route is to leave space for the idea, let it take whatever shape it can as he gleans more information. ]
Is there a reason you've shared this with me?
no subject
( he'd already gotten something out of her and whilst it may not have meant anything she hadn't known that. it had meant something to her which meant she'd had to do something about it )
My truth is better than the alternative.
no subject
You might want to do less talking when you've been drinking.
no subject
( and river has a vague recollection of saying as much but he hadn't allowed her her silence and she hadn't really complained either )
You were part of it too.
no subject
[ he has a definite recollection of river saying as much. he also remembers how easily she'd started talking, and how easy it was to coax her to continue. ]
I thought little information was the least you owed me.
[ after being a continuous pain in his neck. ]
no subject
Owed you? I didn't owe you anything.
( and now she hates that she'd actually been honest with him on sort of her own terms )
no subject
For all of the needling you've done.
[ though his expression remains unwavered, there's something slightly relenting in his voice, almost, almost a little abashed. it's easy to slip back into old habits with this woman. easy to let himself forget the damage he's capable of.
he can't blame her for it. or he shouldn't.
by the fucking void. now he's staring at her, and now he does look uncertain, rubs a hand over his jaw. ]
no subject
( she was getting very irritated with him and certainly not bothering to hide it )
You ask ceaseless questions, offer nothing in return and expect answers?
( certainly river had asked little of him but she wasn't as infuriatingly nosy )
no subject
I don't—
[ what he means to say it that he isn't so hopelessly obnoxious with his demands. that he wasn't the one to challenge her knowledge, her fighting prowess. but of course he hadn't been silent. he'd posed plenty of questions beyond what she wanted to hear.
he glances toward the nearest building, the sky, the ground. ]
I didn't.
...All right.
no subject
( considering how both his words and actions had happened. she would also absolutely fight him on her own challenge -- she hadn't done it to belittle but to improve, particularly when he was harming himself with his lack of care.
but that's a separate matter and daud's reluctant confession does little to quell her anger at him )
Maybe you should figure that out before trying to figure anyone else out.
( and she's turning around, leaving him there. no matter what he says she can't be stopped )